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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26938192">Stay by my Side</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/michaelWayland/pseuds/michaelWayland'>michaelWayland</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Banana Fish (Anime &amp; Manga)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Death from Old Age, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, Gen, Ghosts, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Okumura Eiji Needs a Hug, Okumura Eiji-centric</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 16:41:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,336</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26938192</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/michaelWayland/pseuds/michaelWayland</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>74 years is more than he could ever asked for. Within those years, Eiji lived his life in content and happiness; granted, he relied on antidepressants for a long time to manage and sustain it, but despite that, Eiji moved forward. He would want him to move forward. </p><p>And he did. It had been a good life, all things considered. </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>Eiji Okumura is spending the last of his days camped inside his hospital room. One particular day, he was visited by the one person he expects the least.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ash Lynx &amp; Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji, Max Lobo/Jessica Randy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Stay by my Side</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So I had just gotten into the fandom and I just had to write this as a way for me to cope with the ending. Ash really deserved better. </p><p> </p><p>Also, I'd like to share a bit of context and backstory on the concept of this one-shot; wayback eleventh grade during a creative writing task that involves death I pretty much wrote about my own personal headcanon about the topic — that death would appear as somebody's most beloved when they are about to be picked up. This is pretty much the premise of this emotion dump of mine. </p><p> </p><p>Anyway, please do enjoy the story and feedback as well as comments would be vastly appreciated.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few months ago when the doctors told him there is nothing else they could do, Eiji Okumura felt an odd sense of serenity. He had made his decision — he'll just wait for his body to give out on its own from the cancer seeping inside his bone. His doctors didn't questioned him and he is grateful for that. Sitting alone inside his hospital room, Eiji can't help but feel that time moves fast and slow somehow. He lost track of his time in the doctors' care, but he found himself wanting to get it over with. His body hurt every day, and the pain would quickly be replaced with lightheadedness from the painkillers they have been giving him to ease his pain. He looked at his window, the sunlight just starting to creep in on his room. One of the nurses on duty came in to replace his vitamin drip (not that he needs it any more). Eiji greeted her with a smile, and she is polite enough to return it. She always had been. </p><p> </p><p>"Lovely ring." Eiji had casually pointed out. He noticed the band on the nurse's finger way before his disease reached the terminal stage. His nurse was perplexed from the comment because of this. "Yeah." She said, "My husband has such a great taste. One of the things I loved about him." Eiji eyed the gold band around her finger, its luster worn from age. Strangely, there was no bitterness hanging on to his chest — just a fond sense of happiness on this nurse's behalf, that she gets to be with the love of her life after a long day at work. </p><p> </p><p>74 years is more than he could ever asked for. Within those years, Eiji lived his life in content and happiness; granted, he relied on antidepressants for a long time to manage and sustain it, but despite that, Eiji moved forward. He would want him to move forward. </p><p> </p><p>And he did. It had been a good life, all things considered. </p><p> </p><p>Eiji became a renowned photographer in the industry. He's held a lot of high profile shows, had a lot of his work posted on galleries around New York. He shot Max and Jessica's second wedding photoshoot, and then Sing's and eventually Michael's when their time came. After everything that happened, he still kept in touch with Alex and Bones. They had been kind to him, so it felt right giving back to them. Sing had been nothing but great. He stuck around even if he didn't needed to— Eiji never held what happened against him, had at one point insisted he doesn't have to feel guilty but the young man had persisted. He remembered holding Sing when Yut Lung got killed, his tears soaking up his shirt as he lost yet another friend and confidant. </p><p> </p><p>From the sidelines, he watched Max and Jessica grow old together; had kept Jessica company when Max bit the dust first due to his age for a while before she followed suit a few years later. He saw how Michael followed his dad's footsteps when he became a father himself. He is a witness to how Sing took care of his beautiful family. For a long time, he is contented staring from the sides at all of them. He is alone and drugged up on medication, yes, but seeing all those he held dear made it all worth it. </p><p> </p><p>Eiji unconsciously rubbed his ring finger weakly as sunlight finally started flooding his room. Looking back, he never found himself committing to anyone. He had found the love of his life and had left his heart with him when he left America back in his younger years. There just wasn't anything left to give— Ash took his heart with him when he died. His weakening heart pounded a bit stronger at the thought of it. </p><p> </p><p>His train of thought came to a halt when somebody knocked on his door. Puzzled, he stared at it. The nurse had just finished checking up on him, so who could it be? He didn't had to ponder on it for a little longer, for whoever's on the other side came in. </p><p> </p><p>Eiji stiffled a gasp. His memory now for the most part is muddy, but he'll never forget. </p><p> </p><p>Ash is there, and he looks just like when he last saw him — a doctor's coat, a plain white shirt, distressed denim jeans, and a pair of red sneakers. His blonde hair, a mess, and his green youthful eyes that shone with happiness when their gazes met. </p><p> </p><p> Wordlessly, Ash sat himself on the chair beside his hospital bed. Eiji didn't realized the stream of tears out of his eyes until Ash reached out with his cold fingers and tried wiping them off. "Hey." He said in that boyish tone of his. </p><p> </p><p>Eiji opened his mouth, but no words came out. He swallowed thickly in an attempt to dislodge the lump inside his throat. "I…," Eiji stuttered. Suddenly, he felt the phantom of the pain that bursted inside his chest when he found out on the news what happened — of an unidentified blonde boy who bled out in the New York Public Library. Nausea overwhelmed him at the thought of Ash bleeding out on his spot in the library, and then came the shock followed by tears as Ibe-san rung his phone but his hand is too weak to pick up. Eiji slipped further, and is now  back to the last time they saw each other; had recalled how sad Ash sounded when he snuck in to bid farewell, had remembered how sturdy the wall felt when he used it to support himself in a desperate attempt to reach him before he walks away, how he had torn his heart off his sleeve when he yelled at him to leave so he would not get caught and clung to Charlie.  </p><p> </p><p>He remembered Sing telling him that his brother missed a vital spot and he very well could've survived if he chose to get help — but he didn't. </p><p> </p><p>"I waited," Eiji said through his tears. It was true — years after his death, Eiji would still find himself waiting for Ash to come home after a long night, would stare at people who would share the slightest resemblance as him. At that, Ash smiled sadly as he pushed a few stray locks of his gray hair away from his forehead. "I know," he said, "Sorry for making you wait for so long, Big Brother~". Ash grinned at him as he delivered that in the sing-song voice like he usually did. </p><p> </p><p>Eiji allowed himself to laugh a little. His heart is beating wildly inside his chest now. He's at a loss for words; this is really him, what he always wanted him to be — young, wild, and carefree. Nevermind that he's ghostly or that he's practically cold to touch — a familiar warmth he hadn't felt in such a long time started filling him up. Eiji has his eyes glued on Ash's lean chest. He wanted to know, but his own words are leaving him. He followed his gaze suit, and blinked when he realized what Eiji is trying to ask. </p><p> </p><p>"It didn't hurt, Eiji," Ash reassured him. "It felt liberating. For once, I felt at peace. You are the last thing I dreamt of. It was pleasant." </p><p> </p><p>Ash took his hand and rubbed circles around it before continuing, "You are safe in Japan — that's all that mattered to me. I felt at peace knowing that. Turns out I didn't even had to dream — you lived a happy life. I'm jealous."</p><p> </p><p>Eiji shook his head defiantly. "I lived in contentment." He reasoned, "There's a difference, Ash." </p><p> </p><p>Ash cocked an eyebrow. "Really? Could've fooled me." </p><p> </p><p>For a moment, the two of them stayed like that in silence — Ash rubbing circles on his palm as Eiji reminisced. He never forgot how cocky and sarcastic Ash could be. </p><p> </p><p>He has every right to be jealous, though. Ash lived in hell, and Eiji doesn't need to know the full story to know that. Still, the very thought of Ash being miserable to his end pains him severely. </p><p> </p><p>"Why?" Eiji finally managed. He has so many things to follow that up, but he left the word lingering in the air. </p><p> </p><p>Ash raised an eyebrow at him. "I told you," he reiterated, "You're better off in Japan." </p><p> </p><p>Eiji shook his head, "I gave you tickets," he sobbed in disbelief. "Japan would've been your second shot. I told you I'd be by your side, didn't I?" </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Seemingly getting what Eiji is trying to get across, Ash pursed his lips. "That's exactly why I couldn't let myself be attached to your hip." He mused, "I'm pretty sure I still have enemies to this day, Eiji. You wouldn't live this long if I stuck around." </p><p> </p><p>"Maybe I didn't wanna live long." Eiji rebutted.</p><p> </p><p>"You can't say that." Ash countered. "You were loved, and you were looked out for."</p><p> </p><p>"And don't you think I didn't know that?!" Eiji hissed. The dashes of jealousy and downright resentment that he built up and shoved under as he see his friends go on with their lives started singing inside his veins. When some of them would ask when he intends to settle down with someone, Eiji would shake his head and say, "That never crossed my mind." It was a lie, obviously and his peers saw right through it but never bothered to probe. He is happy for them, that much is true; yet, despite that fact, in his worse times he gets jealous and frustrated. More than anything, he wanted to settle down with somebody. That somebody had taken the dream six feet under too. His blood roared inside his ears as he went on, "I appreciate them. Really. But I felt hollow. Despite them I felt hollow, Ash. It sucked." His lips trembled. </p><p> </p><p>"Here?" Ash tapped on his chest right where his heart is. Eiji can only nod and sob a little more. The blonde wiped more of his tears with the back of his hand. "I'm sorry," he closed his eyes. </p><p> </p><p>"Don't be," Eiji sighed. The wave of frustration inside him has started ebbing. He supposes Ash still has that effect on him after all these years. His own weariness started seeping in again. "I understood why you did." He locked eyes with him, "I just wished you chose differently, you know?" </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"I did chose," Ash said, "Why else do you think I'm here?" </p><p> </p><p>Eiji looked at Ash gazing down at him, his sad green eyes boring holes inside his soul. He missed his gaze so much. He missed everything. He missed him. </p><p> </p><p>"You're crying again, Big Brother~," Ash mused as he proceeded to wipe more of his tears and snot off. "Really, what is it with old people and getting their racks off? So annoying." He scoffed. </p><p> </p><p>"I'd smack you if I could." Eiji said with no real heat in his words. "Kids these days are so disrespectful, jeez." </p><p> </p><p>Ash laughed. Eiji felt the sound echo inside his head. He missed that too, how Ash sounded like his age when he's happy like this. It is a beautiful sound. </p><p> </p><p>"Well, why won't you try?" Ash bickered on, "Has arthritis finally gotten to you?" </p><p> </p><p>"Very funny, Ash." Eiji tutted. </p><p> </p><p>"C'mon I'm just bursting your bubbles," Ash leaned in closer and rested his arm at his pillow next to the top of his head, "But really," Ash inquired, "How are you feeling, Eiji? Are you in pain?" </p><p> </p><p>Eiji hummed, "I've always been in pain even before this," he met Ash's soft gaze, "but I'm feeling better now." </p><p> </p><p>Ash nodded in satisfaction. </p><p> </p><p>"I'm finally here." Ash declared, "so smile a little bit."</p><p> </p><p>"Ash." Eiji groaned in frustration. </p><p> </p><p>"Eiji." Ash countered. "Humor me, please?" He prodded. </p><p> </p><p>Eiji didn't need to be forced to; he let his smile stay on his face this time. "Happy?"</p><p> </p><p>Ash nodded at him. He took his hand and interlaced his cold fingers against his. "The way here sure is exhausting," it was his turn to sigh, "Can I rest my head? Just for a while?" </p><p> </p><p>"Sure."</p><p> </p><p>Ash leaned down and did just that, ensuring that he is staring at Eiji's dark eyes. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Ash?" Eiji squeezed his freezing hand. </p><p> </p><p>"Yes, big brother?" He cooed. </p><p> </p><p>Eiji's starting to feel really light now. His weariness felt like wool inside him. The warmth it provided is a surprise. Oddly enough, he didn't feel like panicking. He's never felt warmer in his life. Eiji reached out and cradled Ash's head, letting himself be comforted with the feeling of his blonde locks against his fingers. </p><p> </p><p>"I think I'm getting old." Eiji mused. "I'm getting tired."</p><p> </p><p>"Of course you are." Ash retorted. "Wanna rest for a bit?"</p><p> </p><p>Ash looked back in his life — of his ups and downs, of the happiness around him and the love and adoration he had received one more time. Then, he stared at Ash's green orbs and find himself relinquishing all of those in a snap. </p><p> </p><p>"Yeah." Eiji weakly said, "Can you stay while I rest? It doesn't have to be forever. Just for now." </p><p> </p><p>Ash shook his head, "I'd stay forever, you dummy. No need to ask."</p><p> </p><p>Eiji beamed at that. He let his eyes droop. There are so many things he'd like to tell Ash now that he's back — and even more, it's been a while since he cooked for him. </p><p> </p><p>"When I wake up, I'll make us dinner, okay?" Eiji said, "How does dried fish and natto sound?" </p><p> </p><p>Ash grimaced at him, "Oh, man." He said. "I forgot how stinky that was. Sure."</p><p> </p><p>"Okay then." </p><p> </p><p>Eiji finally drifted off to sleep as he cradled his beloved's head. He's never felt more at peace in his life. The warmth of the sun seeping in the room, the quiet hum of his vital monitors as they all started turning to static, displaying a single green line as they did, and Ash back into his arms. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
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